Kitchen Table Talk

One in four American households, about 22.3 million, provides emotional or physical care for aging parents, spouses or siblings.  Seventy-five percent of caregivers are women.  Male caregivers are on the rise. 1 in 8 middle-aged Americans are both raising a child and caring for a parent.

As we care for our aging loved ones, we must open the discussion of their wants and needs regarding healthcare.   Caregivers of aging loved ones can begin with a kitchen table talk.  This is a way to open the door for Advance Care Planning.   Advance Care Planning promotes communication and provides peace of mind for the caregiver and the care receiver. 

Ideas on how to open the discussion with your loved one:

·         “I know you can manage on your own, but I’m here if you need me.  Have you thought about where you’d like to live if you needed more help?”

·         “Have you thought about what you would do in an emergency?”

·         “Could you give me the name and phone numbers of your (lawyer, accountant, or others that might help manage their affairs) in case there is an emergency?”

·         “Dad, since Mom pays the bills and you prepare the taxes, do you know each other’s filing systems?  I’d like to know, too, since Mom might need help if anything happens to you.”

·         “Mom, I have recently been looking over my important papers and made sure they are filed in a safe place.  Have you and Dad done this?”

·         “I wanted to talk with you about the future while you are both healthy.  You always took good care of me.  Someday it might be my turn to take care of you, and I want to know what’s important to you.”

Be prepared.  Below is a list of items to consider in a discussion about Advance Care Planning.  Seek an Elder Law Attorney for legal documents and advice.

1.      Names, addresses and phone numbers of doctors, dentist, in home care providers, lawyers, financial advisors, and banks

2.      Will, Living Will, Medical Power of Attorney, Durable Power of Attorney

3.      Keys to safe deposit box or mail box

4.      Insurance policies - life, health, auto etc.

5.      Social security, Medicare and Medicaid numbers

6.      Complete list of assets including savings, money market, stocks, bonds and any retirement accounts

7.      List of debts, including mortgages, personal loan and other liabilities

8.      List of all routine household bills

9.      Copies of income tax returns from the past three years 

10.   Government Resources – Medicare/Medicaid/VA

11.   Community Resources – Private In-Home Care

12.   Assistance Programs – Senior Adult Day Care

13.   Neighborhood Resources – Church Programs

Cindy Hartman, RN, BSN

C&S Care Management, Inc.

chartman@cs-care.com

Office:  281-550-8444

15430 Ridge Park Drive

Houston, Texas  77095